Marriage

Genesis 2:22-24 NIV

"22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23  The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” 24That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh."

The Word of God says, man is united with his wife and they become one flesh but it is sad to know that nowadays divorce rate is getting higher and higher, and it feels like it is becoming common almost everywhere in the world. But pretty sure anyone who plan to marry believes that he or she found Mr. or Mrs. Right. But how is it possible that a lot of married couple end up in divorce or being separated after a year or two?

The answer is Marriage does not only requires one type of love. Marriage requires all types of love to keep the marriage intact and stronger. As mentioned on my first blog about love, love can be divided into four types: "Agape" for Godly love, "Phileo" for friendly love, "Eros" for romantic-passionate love and "Storge" for family love and here are some things to consider:

1. Romance is so important for marriage, but a man cannot just marry a woman because of passionate-attraction, "Eros" or romantic love. What will happen if the romance is gone? Romance can be totally different after 10 to 30 year of marriage they say, more so if all the unwanted fats and wrinkles grow visible. What will you do if you find your spouse less attractive? Will you find a younger one? And if that new one become less attractive as the first, will you consider another? When romantic love is gone what will you hold on to?

 2. That is why friendship within marriage is a must. Knowing that your spouse is also your friend gives extra spice and bond to a marriage. Is your spouse always coming home late because he spends too much time with his friends after work? What do you think he does with his friends that he cannot do with you? Boys are boys and girls are girls but if your spouse spends more time with his other friends than with you, then friendship is not established within the marriage. That is why a couple should have a lot of common interest to share with. Something that you would both be excited to do or talk about together aside from bills and responsibilities that can be totally boring and stressful. Something that your spouse would love to do with you instead of someone else so "Phileo" love can also be present in marriage. So friendship will keep the marriage stronger.

 3.Additionally, spouses must have "Storge" or "the love for the family". This kind of love goes hand and hand with commitment and responsibility which is also a must in a marriage. Most people enter marriage without even thinking of responsibilities. They exchanged "I do's" without even realizing that the words "for richer and for poorer, till death do as part" should really exist. So when the hardship comes they give up. So both couple must have love for the family that they are creating. Do not create a family if you are just going to break it.

4. Lastly and the most essential is the "Agape" or love of God. Marriage fails because it is not sanctified by God. God holds the marriage and keeps it pleasant and unconditional. A famous quote once said, "A family that prays together, stays together". This is so true. If the family prays, it creates a bond that will never be broken. Imagine, your family praying together, your spouse reading the Bible and teaching your kids how to pray. "What a lovely family I have", you can say. God gives peace and assurance of a better future. God will never let your family to be broken, but He will heal every wound and straighten what is crooked. So God will preserve the family. Moreover, you are setting a good example to your kids so when they have their own families, they will definitely would have the same as the one you have created. A family full of love.

Therefore, to keep the marriage stronger, keep all the points above in mind. If you are still single, it will also help you plan for your future marriage and family life. As I have mentioned, all types of love should exist and co-exist to keep the marriage stronger and last a life-time.

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT:
1. What kind of love is my marriage founded on?
2. Is my spouse also my friend?
3. Is God the center of my marriage?
4. Are all the types of love present in my marriage?
5. What am I doing to keep my marriage stronger?

PRAYER:

Dear God,
       Thank you for this amazing opportunity to be reminded of your words that I am one flesh with my spouse and I have vow to love him/her through think and thin. Please help both of us to keep our marriage stronger. There is nothing more I could ask for than a marriage that is bonded by your love, sustained by friendship, ignited by passion and romance and cherished as a family. Please help us O loving God and show us what you can do. If our faith is weak, let us experience your power that we may believe and abide in you. Thank you Lord, in the precious name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.


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JANUARY 25, 2018.                                                 

MARRIAGE: GOD'S FAITHFULNESS

By Cynthia of San Antonio, TX

     My husband Eric and I have been married for 18 years, but I can’t honestly say all of them were spent happily together.  Some of them were difficult and required work to get through them.  What I didn’t know 18 years ago and what I believe many newlyweds don’t either is that arguments and heartache are very normal in a marriage.  No marriage is perfect, no matter how it appears to outsiders.  If we didn’t have problems to work through, how would our marriage get stronger and more beautiful?  Just like we allow God to work on our hearts, we must believe that He can also help us with our marriages.  

     

     Although I was brought up in a religious church, I didn’t truly seek God until I was in my senior year of high school.  I didn’t feel the love I saw in other Christians at school.  When they talked of God, my heart sensed their love for Him.  I started praying to find that love for God, but I wanted to find Him within my church.  When that didn’t happen,  I spent a couple of years feeling as if He had abandoned me.  Then, in college, many friends shared Jesus with me.  They shared their own personal experiences and answered my endless questions.  Something in my heart changed, and I accepted Jesus as my Savior.  At long last, I knew what it meant to love God and feel loved by Him.  God was no longer some distant God whose acceptance and love I had to earn.  He was my heavenly father, and I was His beloved child.  To know that God rejoiced over me in heaven when I accepted Jesus as my savior fills me with unspeakable joy even now (Luke 15: 1-7)!

 

     A year or two after our first child Rachel was born, I started feeling neglected by my husband.  He never opened doors, held my hand at church, or brought home flowers anymore.  I realize it sounds ridiculous, but I became jealous of the attention Eric showered on Rachel.  I no longer felt like the love of his life.  In an attempt to regain my number one status, I started making more of an effort in my appearance.  I thought this would fix everything.  It didn’t, of course.  As the months went by and nothing changed, I felt more and more lonely.  I was expecting Eric to fill my needs and make me feel loved.  I had completely forgotten about God’s love for me.  

     

         While I was feeling unloved and forgotten by my husband, my heavenly father gently reminded me of His great love for me.  I started spending more time in His word.  One day, something stood out to me.  No one will love me like God loves me.  He created me and knows everything about me (Psalms 139).  He knows my heart better than anyone ever has, does, or ever will.  God loves me for me.  I never have to try to be somebody I’m not  just to impress Him.  He simply loves me.  The same Jesus who wept over Jerusalem had longed for my heart when I was lost(Luke 13:34, 19:41-42). The same Jesus who wept with Mary over the death of her brother Lazarus loves me and is with me when I am sad (John 11: 33-36).  It gives me great comfort to know He is beside me when I am troubled (Psalm 34:18).  I can praise Him through difficulties because he crowns me with love and compassion (Psalms 103:4)!  When I am experiencing a difficult time in my marriage, I know I can pray and ask God for his guidance (Psalms: 16:7). James 1:5 tells us that if we lack wisdom, we should ask God for it because he gives it generously and without finding fault.    It was during this time of searching that God revealed to me that I can only work on my own heart.  Nothing I said or did was going to change Eric’s heart towards me.  I had to stop worrying and wondering if he still loved me and just focus on my heavenly father’s love for me as His beloved daughter.  

     

     In time, my husband and I started having very frank conversations.  We shared everything we were feeling, some of which was difficult to hear.  I learned he was feeling neglected by me just as much as I had felt ignored by him.  When I looked back, I realized this was true.  I had spent so much time and energy trying to be a good mother that I had become a terrible wife.  We agreed to make an effort to spend more time together as husband and wife, and not just as a family.  We became closer because of that experience and our marriage got stronger.  I don’t know that I would have had the will to stick with my marriage had I not known God’s incredible love was wrapped around me, giving me comfort and guidance during this difficult time.  As we have had other trials and will undoubtedly encounter more in the future, I am thankful I can look back and see God has led us through each and every one.  That’s the beauty of trials; they become a reminder of God’s love and care for us (Psalms 77: 1-12).  When we are in the middle of hardship, we need to remember God’s unchanging love for us and cry out to Him.  He will never abandon us.  We must also continually pray for His wisdom and believe He can and will guide us because nothing is impossible with God.

To God be the Glory!

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