Testimony

 JANUARY 26, 2018.

MARRIAGE: WHEREVER, YOU AND ME

By: Jenny of the Philippines

“But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” Ruth 1:16-17

     On June 12, 2006, at the age of 30, Jerry and I submitted ourselves before the Lord to be one in matrimony, to use our love for each other in serving him in whatever ministry our passion lies.  The ceremony was attended by our beloved families, close friends and loved ones, who until now, have been our support group through all our struggles. After eleven years of meaningful togetherness, we are enjoying the gift of four lovely boys who continue to be our inspiration and the source of our joy, with God at the center of our laughter and tears.

     In those eleven years as a couple, we have regarded God as our conductor so, like in a choir, we can sing in tune, in time and in harmony with each other.  Many trials have tested our relationship but the one that we could consider the hardest happened four years ago.  In 2013, I got pregnant with our fourth son.  The first trimester was difficult.  I was brought to the hospital for four separate times due to different reasons:  First confinement was caused by Dengue fever; second was due to acute gastritis; third was caused by acute sinusitis and acute bronchitis; and the fourth was due to insomnia and anemia.  On each confinement, I was getting weaker and weaker, however, according to the doctor, our baby’s heartbeat never faltered.  On my last confinement, the doctor talked to my husband and suggested termination of my pregnancy since my physical condition was getting worse.  The doctor could not give me any antibiotic for it will greatly affect the development of the baby.  After talking to my husband separately, the doctor talked to both of us.  We felt devastated, we felt so helpless.   

     We asked the doctor to give us at most two days to decide.  In those two days, we prayed so hard asking God for guidance in our decision.  We sought advice from our parents.  We also asked our friends within and outside church to keep us, including our baby, in their prayers.  In the midst of the two long days, I remembered what the doctor said about my baby’s heartbeat.  If God has kept my baby’s heartbeat strong, I have no reason to weaken my spirit.  I have to strengthen my will to recover so that my baby and I could overcome this trial. 

    

     When I told my husband this, he gave his all-out support that we decided to keep our baby.  For the rest of the weeks in the hospital, my husband showed me care that was beyond my imagination.  I felt his unconditional love in all those sleepless nights fighting against insomnia.  Many times, I would faint due to lack of sleep plus anemia but he was always there, on the rescue, encouraging me to hang on and assuring me of his love no matter what happens.  On top of that, I saw how he sacrificed his time and effort, going back and forth the hospital to check on our three children at home, seeing to it that their needs were met and that someone was there to be with them. To cut the story short, my condition improved and we were able to surpass the hardship, not through our efforts, but through the grace of God.  Now our son, Dagaya, which means “abundant” is three years old.  Although he was diagnosed with developmental delays, we continue to thank God for his abundant grace manifested in our battle for life with Dagaya. 

      In all our struggles, we believe that God is important in marriage because God is overflowing while we are limited.  We could not think wisely in situations that are beyond our comprehension without God’s gift of wisdom.  In the midst of unfaithfulness, we could not arrive at reconciliation without God’s gift of repentance and forgiveness.  In the midst of confusions, we could not see clarity without God’s gift of understanding.  And in the midst of trying to love the most unlovable areas of our partner’s character, the temptation to separate would just be right beside the corner without God’s gift of compassion and acceptance.  It is through these gifts and many more of God’s gifts that Jerry and I have resolved our marital issues.  We entrust our limitations to God and believe in his power to help us rely on him alone.  We know that we will continue to encounter more issues ahead but we are confident that as long as we keep our eyes on God, we will get through all obstacles, both present and forthcoming, without compromising our love for each other, for our children, and for the people around us.

     For our exchange of wedding vows, Jerry and I wrote a song in our native language which translates “wherever,” in English, based on the bible verse Ruth 1:16-17.  With his words and my music, our wedding song-verse has become our guide and reminder to support each other whatever plans we have—may it be personal, familial, or about work.  More so, to remind us to be supportive of our children’s plans and dreams and to always put God at the center of our striving, in joy and in sorrow; to share our love of God to our children so that they too would learn to fear and love God with all their hearts, mind and soul.

Praise be to God!

                                        *******************************

JANUARY 25, 2018.

                                                 

MARRIAGE: GOD'S FAITHFULNESS

By: Cynthia of San Antonio, TX

     My husband Eric and I have been married for 18 years, but I can’t honestly say all of them were spent happily together.  Some of them were difficult and required work to get through them.  What I didn’t know 18 years ago and what I believe many newlyweds don’t either is that arguments and heartache are very normal in a marriage.  No marriage is perfect, no matter how it appears to outsiders.  If we didn’t have problems to work through, how would our marriage get stronger and more beautiful?  Just like we allow God to work on our hearts, we must believe that He can also help us with our marriages.  

     

     Although I was brought up in a religious church, I didn’t truly seek God until I was in my senior year of high school.  I didn’t feel the love I saw in other Christians at school.  When they talked of God, my heart sensed their love for Him.  I started praying to find that love for God, but I wanted to find Him within my church.  When that didn’t happen,  I spent a couple of years feeling as if He had abandoned me.  Then, in college, many friends shared Jesus with me.  They shared their own personal experiences and answered my endless questions.  Something in my heart changed, and I accepted Jesus as my Savior.  At long last, I knew what it meant to love God and feel loved by Him.  God was no longer some distant God whose acceptance and love I had to earn.  He was my heavenly father, and I was His beloved child.  To know that God rejoiced over me in heaven when I accepted Jesus as my savior fills me with unspeakable joy even now (Luke 15: 1-7)!

     A year or two after our first child Rachel was born, I started feeling neglected by my husband.  He never opened doors, held my hand at church, or brought home flowers anymore.  I realize it sounds ridiculous, but I became jealous of the attention Eric showered on Rachel.  I no longer felt like the love of his life.  In an attempt to regain my number one status, I started making more of an effort in my appearance.  I thought this would fix everything.  It didn’t, of course.  As the months went by and nothing changed, I felt more and more lonely.  I was expecting Eric to fill my needs and make me feel loved.  I had completely forgotten about God’s love for me.  

     

         While I was feeling unloved and forgotten by my husband, my heavenly father gently reminded me of His great love for me.  I started spending more time in His word.  One day, something stood out to me.  No one will love me like God loves me.  He created me and knows everything about me (Psalms 139).  He knows my heart better than anyone ever has, does, or ever will.  God loves me for me.  I never have to try to be somebody I’m not  just to impress Him.  He simply loves me.  The same Jesus who wept over Jerusalem had longed for my heart when I was lost(Luke 13:34, 19:41-42). The same Jesus who wept with Mary over the death of her brother Lazarus loves me and is with me when I am sad (John 11: 33-36).  It gives me great comfort to know He is beside me when I am troubled (Psalm 34:18).  I can praise Him through difficulties because he crowns me with love and compassion (Psalms 103:4)!  When I am experiencing a difficult time in my marriage, I know I can pray and ask God for his guidance (Psalms: 16:7). James 1:5 tells us that if we lack wisdom, we should ask God for it because he gives it generously and without finding fault.    It was during this time of searching that God revealed to me that I can only work on my own heart.  Nothing I said or did was going to change Eric’s heart towards me.  I had to stop worrying and wondering if he still loved me and just focus on my heavenly father’s love for me as His beloved daughter.  

     

     In time, my husband and I started having very frank conversations.  We shared everything we were feeling, some of which was difficult to hear.  I learned he was feeling neglected by me just as much as I had felt ignored by him.  When I looked back, I realized this was true.  I had spent so much time and energy trying to be a good mother that I had become a terrible wife.  We agreed to make an effort to spend more time together as husband and wife, and not just as a family.  We became closer because of that experience and our marriage got stronger.  I don’t know that I would have had the will to stick with my marriage had I not known God’s incredible love was wrapped around me, giving me comfort and guidance during this difficult time.  As we have had other trials and will undoubtedly encounter more in the future, I am thankful I can look back and see God has led us through each and every one.  That’s the beauty of trials; they become a reminder of God’s love and care for us (Psalms 77: 1-12).  When we are in the middle of hardship, we need to remember God’s unchanging love for us and cry out to Him.  He will never abandon us.  We must also continually pray for His wisdom and believe He can and will guide us because nothing is impossible with God.

To God be the Glory!