How to Keep the Marriage Intact and Stronger?

Genesis 2:22-24 NIV

"22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23  The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” 24That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh."

The Word of God says, man is united with his wife and they become one flesh but it is sad to know that nowadays divorce rate is getting higher and higher, and it feels like it is becoming common almost everywhere in the world. But pretty sure anyone who plan to marry believes that he or she found Mr. or Mrs. Right. But how is it possible that a lot of married couple end up in divorce or being separated after a year or two?

The answer is Marriage does not only requires one type of love. Marriage requires all types of love to keep the marriage intact and stronger. As mentioned on my first blog about love, love can be divided into four types: "Agape" for Godly love, "Phileo" for friendly love, "Eros" for romantic-passionate love and "Storge" for family love and here are some things to consider:

1. Romance is so important for marriage, but a man cannot just marry a woman because of passionate-attraction, "Eros" or romantic love. What will happen if the romance is gone? Romance can be totally different after 10 to 30 year of marriage they say, more so if all the unwanted fats and wrinkles grow visible. What will you do if you find your spouse less attractive? Will you find a younger one? And if that new one become less attractive as the first, will you consider another? When romantic love is gone what will you hold on to?

 2. That is why friendship within marriage is a must. Knowing that your spouse is also your friend gives extra spice and bond to a marriage. Is your spouse always coming home late because he spends too much time with his friends after work? What do you think he does with his friends that he cannot do with you? Boys are boys and girls are girls but if your spouse spends more time with his other friends than with you, then friendship is not established within the marriage. That is why a couple should have a lot of common interest to share with. Something that you would both be excited to do or talk about together aside from bills and responsibilities that can be totally boring and stressful. Something that your spouse would love to do with you instead of someone else so "Phileo" love can also be present in marriage. So friendship will keep the marriage stronger.

 3.Additionally, spouses must have "Storge" or "the love for the family". This kind of love goes hand and hand with commitment and responsibility which is also a must in a marriage. Most people enter marriage without even thinking of responsibilities. They exchanged "I do's" without even realizing that the words "for richer and for poorer, till death do as part" should really exist. So when the hardship comes they give up. So both couple must have love for the family that they are creating. Do not create a family if you are just going to break it.

4. Lastly and the most essential is the "Agape" or love of God. Marriage fails because it is not sanctified by God. God holds the marriage and keeps it pleasant and unconditional. A famous quote once said, "A family that prays together, stays together". This is so true. If the family prays, it creates a bond that will never be broken. Imagine, your family praying together, your spouse reading the Bible and teaching your kids how to pray. "What a lovely family I have", you can say. God gives peace and assurance of a better future. God will never let your family to be broken, but He will heal every wound and straighten what is crooked. So God will preserve the family. Moreover, you are setting a good example to your kids so when they have their own families, they will definitely would have the same as the one you have created. A family full of love.

Therefore, to keep the marriage stronger, keep all the points above in mind. If you are still single, it will also help you plan for your future marriage and family life. As I have mentioned, all types of love should exist and co-exist to keep the marriage stronger and last a life-time.

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT:
1. What kind of love is my marriage founded on?
2. Is my spouse also my friend?
3. Is God the center of my marriage?
4. Are all the types of love present in my marriage?
5. What am I doing to keep my marriage stronger?

PRAYER:

Dear God,
       Thank you for this amazing opportunity to be reminded of your words that I am one flesh with my spouse and I have vow to love him/her through think and thin. Please help both of us to keep our marriage stronger. There is nothing more I could ask for than a marriage that is bonded by your love, sustained by friendship, ignited by passion and romance and cherished as a family. Please help us O loving God and show us what you can do. If our faith is weak, let us experience your power that we may believe and abide in you. Thank you Lord, in the precious name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.


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In God's Perfect Time

     I woke up early this morning to bake some bread for my friends. I was hurrying up because they need to leave early so I tried to fast track the preparation and baking. So I put the dough in the oven and set it to a temperature higher than the usually thinking it will help lessen my time of baking but I ended up burning the top of the bread. Good thing I have an extra dough. Then because of this, I realized three things, first is that following instruction is really important. Second is perfect timing makes a perfect bread. Third is though the bread tastes fine, I knew, it could have been better.

From this experience, God impressed his Words in my heart from Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV) :  

"There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens:"

     It is amazing how God teaches us the lessons in life through our daily activities and I would like to share with you what I have learned today: 

1. Following instruction is important. Like baking, cooking and even operating a machine, following instruction is essential for it will help you achieve the best result, which is quite true, I could have set the temperature according to the baking instructions but I didn't so the result was not as it was suppose to be. Like in life, God handed us over his very Word for instruction and guidance and sadly even though most of us already know about the Word of God and its effect and power, we still tend to experiment and follow our own worldly ways, so a lot of people go astray. As it was inquired and answered in the Bible:

"How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word" Psalms 119:9

2. Perfect timing makes a perfect bread. If the instruction says 20 minutes, then 20 minutes it is. Not 10 or 15 nor 25, it must be 20. The instruction on the packaging was not easily written down nor formulated. Bakers have done multiple trial and error to make sure that the process is perfect and will produce the best result. Therefore, I must wait for the perfect time for my bread. As the Bible said, "There is a time for everything.." Like baking, in life there are times that we need to wait, sometimes for a job, or for a medical result, or even for a spouse to spend the rest of our lives with. Waiting is one of the hardest thing to do and as we all have heard, "Patience is a virtue" and yes, it is true. Blessed are those who wait, especially those who wait upon the Lord. God has his own timeline, we may not know what he has instore for us but if God tells you to wait, know that what he has, is best and perfect for you.

3. Though the bread tasted fine, I knew, it could have been better. And as a result, the bread tasted just fine. But if I have just followed the instruction and waited a little longer, the bread could have been better. Life is often times like this, we could have waited a little more for God but instead we have chosen something else and settle for less.

Life is filled with decision making and what we decide on today can greatly impact our tomorrow so if our decision needs time, then we must take the time. We must ask God for guidance and give us patience in waiting. I know it is not easy to wait, but waiting in God is worth it because he is the Alpha and Omega, the first and last is he. He knows best and will always gives the best for those who wait on him. "No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame, but shame will come on those who are treacherous without cause." Psalm 25:3

If your single, do not rush, God is preparing the best and Godly spouse for you.

If you are looking for a job, do not be involved with illegal businesses, God has a decent job for you. If you are waiting for a relationship to be restored, don't give up, God is mending it for you. 

If you have an unanswered prayer, God is working on it for you. 

PRAYER:

Dear God, 

     Thank you for everything that you have done for me. Thank you for reminding me to wait on you and seek you while waiting. Thank you for this great joy knowing that you are able and that you are always near. Help me to have patience and give me wisdom to recognize and discern your will in my life. Please let me know that you are working on my behalf. I will put my trust in you and wait on you.

Thank you Lord, this is what I pray in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.